Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Relationships and Support

So, I just read a friends' blog and she started off with exactly what I was planning to start off on this post...it's my blog and I can say what I want.  If you want to read it, great...if not, it's ok too!!  I use my blog to keep folks up to date on family (when Facebook has limitations) and to express more of my own thoughts or to give more detail of my own thoughts.  It's my blog, my perspective... 

Recently, I had a new friend tell me how she "looks up to" the relationship Russell and I have and how we have so much love and respect for each other.  Although I am thrilled to receive such a compliment from someone...these things just come natural to us.  It's not to say we don't have disagreements, everyone does...but we don't yell and scream and disrespect each other.  We have even "agreed to disagree" a time or two!  But, we have a mutual respect for each other and have always had that.  When we were dating and having the marriage talks, we both felt that we had had the opportunity to view several marriages with good and bad characteristics.  At that point, we talked about things in those marriages we wanted to take into ours and things we didn't want to take into ours.  We have held true to almost each of the things and still feel very strongly about those things.  But the best part is we were very open about this and talked ALOT about these things and keep our lines of communication open with each other.  (I am sure those that know Russell are thinking "No way, Russell doesn't talk ALOT", but he did!)  We wanted a relationship our children could look up to and think, I want to have a relationship like my parents.

Also, part of the whole relationship concept is that no matter how many and who is a part of the relationship, ANY relationship you have is not a one-way deal.  Relationships can involve two, three, four, or many more people, and one person can not do all the work.  I was thinking of a comparison and the best thing I came up with is cars.  If one car is doing all the work in a team, that car will eventually run out of gas and become stuck.  But, if all the cars work together, their mission can be accomplished.  Even with children, not just one person (the adult or the child) can do all the work to make a good relationship.  Both parties have to work together.  It's not saying, you let the child get away with it all, it's simply stating to work together and come up with the best possible solution.  Don't be the car that lets the other run out of gas.  If  not sure how to help or what to do...don't be afraid to ask and talk.  As cheesy as it may sound, all relationships need good communication (notice I said GOOD communication, not yelling or screaming...but actual talking about it and realizing at times you may have to agree to disagree!).

Lastly and probably the most important...showing support in your relationship.  Many of you know that Russell is a professional archer.  It is a dream he has had since he was a child.  When we met and got married, due to his work schedule, he was EXTREMELY limited in his shooting because most tournaments were on the weekend and he worked most weekends.  However, once he got back to having weekends off, he really started his pursuit of his childhood dream.  Knowing how important this was to him and how long he had this dream, I wanted to make every effort possible to see him pursue his childhood dream.  This did not just mean saying "Ok, you can go shoot your bow".  This meant actually going to as many tournaments as possible with him.  Cheering him on when he did well, and being there to say "It's ok" when thing didn't go so well.  It meant not allowing him to give up when he had several "not so good" days at the range.  Growing up, my parents were at almost EVERY single event or competition I was involved with.  Every football game I twirled at, every marching competition, every concert.  Literally, if it was something they could go to, they were there.  Of course, some things did not allow an audience, but many times, they waited in the wings if allowed.  There is no denying, at times, it did drive me crazy that they were there all the time, but at the same time, I know that because of them and their support and the type of support they gave, I was successful at my endeavors.  As a parent of a young child, I love being there and watching and cheering on Colleen and supporting her even on a bad day.  I just feel that it is important to realize that support is just not permission to go do something, but physically being there when possible, especially for a child.

That is all I got for now...But beware, I have more to say on several other topics!!!  :)